The 10 biggest lies we tell ourselves? and 10 truths to overcome them

The 10 biggest lies we tell urselves? and 10 truths to overcome themThe 10 biggest lies we tell ourselves? and 10 truths to overcome themIf you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything. - Mark TwainLies, like fears, are what hold us back from doing great things - truly great things. So, in the abstract, it never makes sense to lie - to ourselves or others. And yet, all of us, at some point of our lives, have, at minimum, told lies to ourselves. Youre elend good enough. You arent the person you think you are. And so on. ansicht lies can end up destroying us if we let them.See, lies can work for a period of time. But intrinsically, they are deceptive. Theres no foundation. Nothing redeeming to sustain them. Theres no truth. Truth is the fundamental principle that is needed for you to believe in anything that you say or do. Truth is where you have to begin.Were all taught from a young age to tell the truth for good reason. Love, friendships, business deals, any relationsh ip is inherently based in truth. In case you doubt this, take a look around the people you know in your life right now. Your intuition and heart will let you know if you have a positive, lasting relationship with these people. And furthermore, you will know if your relationship is based on candor, authenticity, love, warmth and kindness.The truth lives in all of these beautiful principles and values.So why, you ask, do we lie? Lying is a short-term hedge meant to cover-up a flaw. Its meant to buy us time. But boy, do we end up losing time when we lie. Its a very slippery slope. Everyone from little children to the elderly need to know that they are dealing in the truth. When someone feels deceived, their defense mechanisms are up. Their mind is forever changed. They no longer believe or trust you. Hope is lost.Herein, I have listed the 10 biggest lies we tell ourselves. Take a look - let me know if you landsee some of yourself in there. Because I have the solutions for all of them. Live in the truth and let it set you free.I wont be able to sustain my successExplanation So, youve started running down your dream and youre doing pretty well. But instead of continuing forward and building upon your previous gains, you become so analytical that it begins to paralyze you. You start questioning yourself, not as much on your past performance, but about what the future holds for what you aim to do. And you stop. You doubt. You begin to crumble.Solution Begin with the end goal in mind and reverse engineer your path from there. This limits an anxious, negative kind of future seeking mindset. If you find that your view of the future is limiting in belief and that your mental architecture only builds so far before it self-destructs, plan and do like you already have it. This is the successful path of champions.I cant overcome my past mistakesExplanation We obsess far too much over the past. The past is there - and we have a memory - to be able to look back, take the le ssons with us, extract the positive and keep taking that to move us forward to the present and future. Furthermore, dismiss this notion that you cannot improve your performance. Isnt this exactly what this lie is about? You mean to tell me you wont get better?Please.Whats done is done. You can overcome anything in life. You need to believe in yourself. You need a great support system. And you need the discipline to focus all of your energy on what youre doing in this present moment. Mistakes? Yes, weve all made a few. And they make us stronger, better, wiser and more resolute - they dont leave us stuck.Solution What if I told you that the most successful people- from the famous (Steve Jobs and J.K. Rowling), to the people that are closest to you - blazed their path by refusing to give up (mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally) in the face of failure, mistakes or adversity. The best stories - the richest, most amazing - are ones where the person refused to give up.Yo u can always overcome your biggest mistakes. And the best part is, you just have to start believing that this is possible. Start with faith. Then start building again. And keep going.Honesty is the first chapter in the book of Wisdom. - Thomas JeffersonI have a great idea, but I dont have the right connectionsExplanation You think that people and relationships will make everything work for you on your path to happiness and success.Solution Let me first tell you that knowing influential people helps. But its not the be-all, end-all. You have Medium. You have Facebook, Linked in, YouTube and countless digital media platforms at your disposal. These platforms were built with your specific dreams and hopes in mind They want to give you the platform to voice what you want to say.If you have a great idea, like many successful entrepreneurs and artists before you, you can give it life and put it out into the world.You can hold it for yourself. You can invent something. Get a copyright or trademark. And muster up the courage to give it to the world. Begin building relationships. Network first in your immediate circle, begin attracting others through clubs you join, events you can attend at your local library, or take a flyer on attending a seminar or workshop that looks interesting to you.Get on Linked in and try reaching out to successful people that you think might be willing to entertain a conversation. Not everyone will respond. But maybe the right person will.That person succeeded, but they did it with luckExplanation Luck exists but its not often what people ascribe things to or what we think. We create our own luck. From Psychologist Richard WisemanUnlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected. As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. Lucky people, on the other hand, are more relaxed and open, which means they see what is there.M erriam-Webster defines Luck as a force that brings good fortune or adversity. The events, opportunities or circumstances that operate for or against an individual.Solution I believe luck is born from opportunity and through the extended arm of others. Good things arrive from the benevolence and goodwill of others, not by sudden, random happenstance. None of us make it on our own, though we do attract greater energy and synergy from the universe when were putting forth positive thought vibrations and actions.We make so much of our own luck. Luck exists. And the harder we work, the more we dream, the more passionate we are about what were doing, the luckier we become.I can continue to partition certain parts of my life (the concept of doing certain wrong things, while basically living a split personality and duality of who you are)Explanation This is just straight-up crazy. The straight-laced, successful family man that cheats on his wife. The person who parties all night but still ge ts good grades. The person who is nice to everyone professionally, yet segregates that from the life they live at home. Perhaps someone with lots of pent-up anger who hits or abuses his girlfriend or children.If youre living a double-life, thats a problem. It may show itself to work in the short-term, on occasion, but youre deluding yourself if you think this is a long-term strategy for happiness and success. There should be synchronicity to what you do. Rhythm and flow between the different areas of your life.Solution You can segregate your work/school life from your personal life (in terms of not necessarily wanting to share aspects of your personal life with colleagues), but be yourself in all circumstances. Be the true you. Be true to your values, principles and morals. And make a daily commitment to earn your keep and develop greater pride and joy around being who youre meant to be.True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sen se of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. - Brene BrownI cant build the life I want on the side because of what others will thinkExplanation What is the cost to you right now to continue living your life in fear?What is the cost to you right now of kowtowing to the made-up, untrue thoughts that others may or may not have of you?This is the classic worry of someone whose mind is controlled by fear, anxiety and insecurity. They stop themselves in their tracks because theyre worried what others might think. They start something, then immediately fold their hand because theyre so fearful of what others might think. What I think, is that youll be surprised to find out that most people are ONLY concerned with themselves.Solution When people begin to take notice at whats going on in the world around them, they often open their eyes to productive, inspirational, motivational, successful and happy people. These are people that build the life they truly want and live it on their terms - other peoples opinions be damned.Be proud of who you are. If you feel in your heart that youre an artist, entrepreneur, athlete, whatever, then go for it.Because the Gods honest truth is no one is stopping you. Youre stopping you. This is one of the worst, most pernicious lies we tell ourselves.People arent really supporting me, theyre laughing behind my back thinking I wont make itExplanation Ive told myself this lie on a lot of different occasions. Do you want to know when Ive told it to myself? Every time that Ive been on the cusp of launching a new life for myself. A new dream.Writing my first bookLaunching my coaching businessMaking the bold decision to move across the country to attend graduate school (with a lot of unknowns)So many people play things conservatively. Playing things conservatively in all areas of life is NOT a bad overall life strategy. At least not in the short-term. But in the long-term, its a losing proposition. And this is what th e people who (may or may not) laugh behind your back never understand. Life is about risk. There is great reward in great risk.Solution So when you decide to launch your new business, when you leave that dead-end job to pursue a degree or your dream, when you follow your heart toward true love, even when others disapprove, know that youre stepping out and breaking the mold of conventional. Follow your heart. Do what you believe. And trust your instincts. You can always change course if you find that what you bet on isnt a winner.Theres no shame in that. Thats what smart people do.Do you. Some people wont be able to comprehend this. Do it anyway, if your heart is telling you to be bold and strong.I wont start a business because mine wont succeed because so many businesses failExplanation While many businesses do fail, youre already entering with the wrong mindset. If you enter into ANY situation in life with a pessimistic mindset that lacks confidence, youve already lost. Not just ha lfway - all the way. You have to believe that youre going to succeed. You also have to do your research. Research the market. Research your product or offering.Solution Do the painstaking research and homework that you need to test and test and test to be sure that your business has a viable path to success. Talk to others. Get feedback. Understand what people want. Do case studies of businesses that have both succeeded AND failed. Youll be amazed at how much you learn from failures. Youll learn what NOT to do. And hopefully, with enough perspiration, hard work and powerful positivity, you will succeed.There are too many barriers to entry preventing me from giving this dream a shotExplanation Entry into a saturated field is not a bad decision. Having an original idea, believing that you can do it better than everyone else eventually, even if youre not capable of it now, is the best mindset for approaching a new venture. You cannot think that youre wasting time. This is where you ne ed to steel yourself mentally and emotionally so that you dont end up being yourself.Solution This is why consistency, repetition and belief in yourself matter. The only person stopping you is you - its not the industry leaders, its not your perceived competitors who are on the journey with you. Its you.I wasted time in my earlier years stopping and starting writing for websites like Bleacher Report and HuffPost. I didnt have what it took at the time to sustain myself to keep going. And I learned from those mistakes. My biggest enemy was me. It wasnt the competition. I learned that if I wanted to succeed badly enough, I could. And I would. And now, I have.Have you found a similar pattern in your life? Have you got caught star-gazing and concerning yourself too much with how competitive your field is? Whether youre trying to launch a new social media app, looking to build a digital media company or perhaps launching a new healthcare product, please stop beating yourself up over why you havent arrived yet.Ill never (fill in the blank here)Explanation Youll neverhave the courage to live your dream?Yes you will.Solution Because youll learn that the only thing - the only person that is actually stopping you is, you. Theres no competition that is trying to cut you down. Every day, its best to begin with a clear mind, receptive to grace and open to limitless opportunities and possibilities. When you have a clear, beginners mind, you can shape and mold your thoughts into brilliant ideas.You can do anything.Remove the word never from your vocabulary. Actually, strike that last sentence. Theres only one use for the word never, and its a very important one. NEVER give up.Seek the truthJoin my newsletter and check out my book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey. If youre interested in working with me try me here.This article first appeared on Medium.